It is 8 p.m. I have succeeded at going to be earlier. I could probably do better but this is good enough.
My belly hurts, the last meal I had did not settle well. It was a simple fruit-based salad, cucumbers tomatoes, garlic and avocado, still, my belly is in pain. I tried pooping but it didn’t go so well, nothing came out, I feel stuck.
Interestingly enough I also feel stuck in my day to day. It is weird because I think I have been doing a great deal of progress. I moved to a new hut which I like much better and I already have 37 pages for my fruitarian diet book.
My relationships with the Kanekiki farm members has improved and I feel very well in general. Still, my belly hurts. I don’t understand why. I thought I was eating too much, now I am eating less. I thought I was eating too much fat, now I am doing less. I thought I was doing poor food combining, now it is better. What am I doing wrong?
My Fruitarian Diet is almost Perfect
I tried eating only fruits and I am almost there. For the most part I have been having papayas, oranges, bananas and a few avocados here and there. My fruitarian diet is almost perfect, at least for my current standards and expectation and yet, I am in pain.
Maybe I am lacking movement, I have spent much time on a couch writing my book. But I did go on a long walk this afternoon, I also did yoga yesterday.
Perhaps this is an emotional obstruction, something I am holding in. Is it anger? Is it love? Is it fear or all the above?
Breathing helps a lot. Laying also helps but I don’t do these enough.
Planning my Raw Vegan Meal for Christmas
This last week I have been feeling subtly anxious. Perhaps that is a clue. I feel like I am at a checkpoint or crossroads. I feel like I am crossing through a river and I am almost on the other side.
I wonder if I need to do a water fast, maybe a day, maybe two. That should create more space and allow things to flow through.
Tomorrow is our Christmas dinner. We are all supposed to make a raw vegan dish to share. I am thinking about making some raw sushi with cauliflower rice. I never done this before, I have no idea how they will turn out. I hope they don’t suck.
I am sure there will be lots of delicious food. Everyone at the Kanekiki farm seems to be a raw chef.
I am sure this belly pain will go away soon, but answers and peace is what I am really looking for.
I am falling asleep, that is a good sign. The night is calling me in.
See you tomorrow,
Goodbye for now.
