I have been having trouble to support my fruitarian diet over the past two days. Yesterday I spent most of the day walking around trying to find some healthy, organic fruit, without any success. It is quite ridiculous that once again I find myself in a fruit-less town.

How ironic, I first moved to Hawaii to live in fruit and found that it too be expensive and non-abundant. I Remember how disappointed I was the first time I went to the market in Hawaii. There was just a handful of stands with fruit and they were small and expensive. This is why I left Hawaii and moved to Ecuador, but sadly, here the experience has been the same, or perhaps worse.

WHERE IS ALL THE FRUIT!?

It seems like the problem is twofold. In one hand, I did miss the farmers market this weekend and so I was unable to get the best produce available in Vilcabamba, I will take the blame for that, my mistake. However, we can agree that it is not convenient to live in a place were healthy fruit is only available for purchase once a week. This is why I plan to move to Cuenca, a bigger city four hours north, where markets are supposed to be larger and running on a daily basis. If that doesn’t work, Thailand might be my last chance. Who would have thought that finding high quality fruit in the tropics would be so hard, something ain’t right.

Now that I think about it, I am not surprised that there is so little fruit in Vilcabamba. In one hand, this is a small town so there isn’t much demand for large quantities and variety of fruit. On the other hand, the town is filled with small markets, selling all sorts of processed foods and garbage. Finding soda or junk food is easy, but a good orange is hard to find. This makes me feel sad…

Fruitarian Bodybuilding in Impossible without Fruit

So I have struggled over the past two days to continue my fruitarian bodybuilding challenge. I barely had any fruit available so I had to pull back to eating rice, which sucked. Two days of eating rice and cucumbers lowered my vibe down to the floor and all my motivation went out the window. I know I should have fasted all these days, but unfortunately I also had a few other situations that left me feeling needy and thus I used food to fill myself up. This is a mistake I seem to repeat over and over again.

On top of that, you may guess that with the lack of fruit and discomfort other negative patterns started to show up as well. Lack of sleep, lack of exercise, substance consumption, etc. I don’t know if I am mistakenly correlating the lack of fruit with other issues I am having, but I do see them clearly tied up.

Why Do I Struggle with the Fruitarian Diet?

Right now I feel like the lamest fruitarian in the history of fruitarianism. I have struggled to last longer than two weeks on a fruitarian diet, even after moving all the way to the tropics twice, first to the Big Island of Hawaii, and now in Vilcabamba, Ecuador. I can come up with a million excuses, but none are really worth the talk, other people with less resources than me have been able to succeed as fruitarians.

It seems like the same powers that brought me to the fruitarian diet are the ones keeping me away from it. These include curiosity, humility and an open mind. It was my curiosity that lead me to learn about the fruitarian diet, and my humility and open mind allowed me to try it out. However, this same humility and open mind tends to keep me away from the diet, by showing me that there are other things that might be more important than health, ethics and environmentalism. These things can include social dynamics or the simple experience of sensual satisfaction. My curiosity and unleashed senses trigger me to try new foods, sometimes cooked, sometimes not even vegan (such as the glass of milk I tried the other night at the Hare Krishna temple).

Why Do I Still Want to Be a Fruitarian?

I am surprised that after all these struggles I still want to be a fruitarian. Maybe I should have given up a long time ago, after noticing that my environment and internal disposition have not been suited for the challenge of following a fruitarian diet. Maybe I should accept that, although humans are frugivores, I am simply too wrapped up in society and my senses to withstand cravings and temptations. Maybe I need to accept my ignorance and start eating whatever I want, whenever I want, regardless of what it is.

The issue with this, however, is that I cannot escape from Karma, the laws of cause and effect. When I was eating fruit my first days in Vilcabamba I was feeling great. I had energy all day long, to walk up and down the mountain from my house to the center and back several times. I was exercises for an hour in the morning and my digestion was fast and clean. Yet, since I left the fruit and opened myself up to cooked foods, my digestion has slowed down significantly and my mood plunked, my energy levels are also quite low compared to before, yesterday I couldn’t even leave the house because I was so tired.

Why doesn’t this happen to everyone else? Why is it that other humans, who are also frugivores by nature, are able to be so energetic without a high fruit diet? Why is it that I am so sensitive to how much fruit I eat or don’t eat? Have I messed up my system by messing up my mind? Is my belief in fruitarianism so strong that it is affecting my psycho-somatic body? Perhaps, but there is nothing I can do about that. When I eat fruit I feel great, when I don’t I feel bad, what do you expect me to do? I tried going back to a regular omnivorous diet, it hasn’t work. I still want to be a fruitarian bodybuilder.